Lucia Osborne-Crowley – I Choose Elena (Literature Review)

CW: This review discusses sexual assault and trauma.

Journalist Lucia Osborne-Crowley’s debut memoir I Choose Elena is heartbreaking, hopeful and necessary.

In her early teens, Lucia Osborne-Crowley was on the fast track to becoming an Olympic gymnast. But after being sexually assaulted late one night while out with friends, those dreams were dashed.

When we talk of the repercussions of sexual assault, we speak of the way in which they affect a victim’s mental health. In Osborne-Crowley’s case, however, her decision to stay silent about what she had been affected not only her mental health but her physical health as well.

The former gymnast’s once strong and obedient body turned into a weapon, destroying her from the inside out with a myriad of physical illnesses doctors diagnosed as everything from chronic fatigue syndrome to endometriosis.

I Choose Elena is the story of how Osborne-Crowley overcome the trauma she faced, and fought to reclaim a body which, essentially had decided to betray her as a way of dealing with an experience she could not bring herself to accept at the time.

To judge I Choose Elena by its cover, it’s a victim’s story, the telling of something that no one anywhere should have to go through, regardless of how old they are or where they come from. But it’s also a story of resilience and standing up for your rights and what you believe in.

Because while Osborne-Crowley did not report her assault to her friends, family or the authorities at the time – something which caused her years of mental and physical pain – it’s her acknowledgement of her mistakes that makes this book so important.

Through this story she stresses how if she had her time over, she would have acted differently and therefore found a community to love and support her through her trauma much quicker than she did. That’s why it is both a harrowing and hopeful book to read – for the message it sends to those who follow her. As tough as it is, it’s touching and heart-warming as Osborne-Crowley finally finds her way back to herself.

That, in my opinion, is what makes this a good book. It’s that sense of strength and growth, of knowing who you are and being confident in it, even when you’re facing the darkest of times. It’s trusting in the light of who you are and your friends, family and community to bring you through it, as difficult as it may be at the time.

I Choose Elena isn’t a nice book. It’s confronting and heartbreaking. But in today’s turbulent political climate, it’s a necessary one.

To find out more about I Choose Elena or Lucia Osborne Crowley, click here. For more information on other books published by Allen & Unwin, visit their website.

If you have been sexually assaulted and need counselling services, call 1800 RESPECT.