Oliver James – Not in Your Genes: The Real Reason Children Are Like Their Parents (Literature Review)

I’m more of a creative thinker than a practical one. At school, I excelled in classes where I could use my imagination and struggled with the more practical science and maths. As an adult, my reading tastes have been much the same, with preferences for fiction over non-fiction and engaging characters fulfilling complex plot-lines over statistics told in a dry monotone, supplemented by pages and pages over overwhelming research.

We’ve all heard someone say “like mother, like daughter” or “it’s in their genes” when referring to one’s personality traits, creative or sporting preferences and career choice. Even behavioural disorders such as autism, ADHD and depression has been referred to as something of a genetic condition by many a medical professional.

Oliver James’ book Not in Your Genes: The Real Reasons Children Are Like Their Parents strives to assert the exact opposite.

In a bold statement, James discusses how many behavioural issues, from autism and ADHD to depression and suicidal tendencies (though not all) can be traced back to the environment in which the individual was raised or born into, citing instances in which there is no proven gene that in which these “conditions” – for lack of a better term – can be hereditarily passed down from parent to child.

You would think that a complex and involved topic such as this would have the tendency to be a little dry, particularly for those unfamiliar with the research behind the author’s reasoning. That was certainly my belief even after receiving my copy from the publisher. This, fortunately, is not the case.

James is well known both in Britain and internationally for his tendency to take some of the most intricate psychological topics and break them down in such a way that they are more palatable for the general public. As a well-respected and highly regarded psychologist, he has regularly appeared on numerous TV and radio programmes in order to express his opinion on a variety of subjects. The Times even referred to him as, “the nation’s shrink” much in the same way, perhaps that Dr Karl Kruszelnicki is Australia’s go-to guru for all things science related.

Not in Your Genes was, in my opinion, just as readable as most fiction, due to James’ clever use of pop culture and sporting icons, such as Peaches Geldof and Tiger Woods, as well as his own experiences with clients to explain some of the concepts, and as further proof of his theory. Additionally, the book is not preachy, leaving readers with the sense that once they have finished it, they now have to re-vamp their lifestyle all in one hit and his approach is a bit more holistic.

For those using the book as a reference to improve their own life, James has “take-aways” at the end of each chapter, little hints they – in this case probably parents or caregivers – can use to positively change their own relationship with their children and family members without resorting to intense therapy or medication. Instances of this include this one from Chapter 3, “Perceiving mental illness in yourself or others as fixed increases the likelihood of it continuing or recurring … by not assuming that it is a genetic destiny, change for the better is more likely”, or the following from Chapter 7, “avoid stress during pregnancy” and “enjoy the la-la land of small children.”

Such points may be obvious to the outsider but for those struggling for family balance (largely through no fault of their own) but rather an environmental clash between child and parent, the sensitivity with which these suggestions are made are perhaps more helpful than those made in the midst of an argument with relatives. At no time does James blame the adults within this situation, merely pointing out ways they can change their unconscious habits to improve overall familial health, and taking care to make note of the fact that there is no one “cure-all”.  Conversely, for professionals using the book as a reference, James has included the actual scientific and psychological papers helping him to reach his conclusions, and places where they might find more information.

 Not in Your Genes is written as a self-help book and will do well with those looking for assistance in their own lives, but for the casual reader, or even relatives hoping to help those around them, this book offers a unique and new perspective on dealing with many of society’s prevalent behavioural issues.

It allows people to be mindful of the situation in which they find themselves and how one’s behaviour can subconsciously influence – both negatively or positively – the behaviour of those around them, without resorting to aggressive medical therapies and ill-advised pill-popping.

Not in Your Genes: The Real Reasons Children Are Like Their Parents is published via Penguin Random House, and is available via their website, in local book stores or electronically. For more information about Oliver James and his work, visit this site, or listen to him talk about his views here.

[Editor/Author Note: This review was originally written for The Mindful Collective.]